The Simple Life

2006-12-26T19:08:00.000+09:00

I had an awesome time on xmas eve. The plan was to spend xmas eve all sad, wet and alone. I went to church in the morning then met up with sharon for lunch, then I went for tea with marcus. And guess what! Just as I finished tea with marcus, mike called!!!!

So I went home and did some jogging to look nice and slim before meeting him at orchard. To think that I was just telling marcus how I so want to go watch the movie Holiday but don't really wanna watch it alone coz its kinda like a "couple's movie". And....mike suggested we go catch a show coz he hasn't watched one for ages...and we both said "Holiday" together!

Had a fantastic time watching the movie...esp since it was with him ;) Plus he still remembered the first time we went out on a date at the movies...hehe...oh man i'm falling in love with him all over again...how?

After one long year of struggling I finally was able to get over him by going overseas, now that I'm back I feel that the horrible feeling of missing him is creeping up to me and tuggling at my heart once more. Heartache reminds me that my heart is (still) alive but never is it desirable.

Dilemma....dilemma...

2006-12-04T20:46:00.000+09:00

sorry guys...flight changed to 12th Dec 2006

2006-11-29T19:26:00.000+08:00

Hey everyone out there pinning for my return...here's it:
Perth------> Singapore
Qantas QF77
7th Dec 2006 Thursday
1225h------> 1800h

2006-11-29T02:35:00.000+08:00

Hmm haven't blogged for a while and Qianyi is complaining. So here goes...I confessed to Mike again a week back for the 2nd time. Hmm you all must think I'm so dumb...why am I so lovesick over one guy for so long? Yeah I've been in love with him for almost 2 yrs already and I still can't get over him. And he keeps saying that though he thinks I'm the sweetest thing ever he can't bear to hurt me?!? Sounds weird right? My guy friends said tt he is using it as a good excuse to say No to me and still remain the good guy...another friend said he might be involved in stuff now so can't afford to be in a relationship. I hope its the latter!!!! I still can't get over why he chased after me 2yrs back and now reject me...hmm...complicated.

Anyway dun bore u all with such mundane stuff....after all u all dun wanna hear abt my complicated love life...you all are airy-fairy abt your real-stable-like-a-rock love lives...and i'm not jealous at all coz honestly it sounds v boring to me :p

I might be flying back on the 9th...though i wanted it to coincide with jas' flight back..but her flight lands in s'pore at midnight! and i dun like evening flights (i take only 6hrs to fly back...sorry jas...i dun have to suffer tt long in the plane)

2006-11-29T02:34:00.000+08:00

The Sonnet
Deliberate Gentle Love Dreamer (DGLDf)

Romantic, hopeful, and composed. You are the Sonnet. Get it? Composed?

Sonnets want Love and have high ideals about it. They're conscientious people, caring & careful. You yourself have deep convictions, and you devote a lot of thought to romance and what it should be. This will frighten away most potential mates, but that's okay, because you're very choosy with your affections anyway. You'd absolutely refuse to date someone dumber than you, for instance.

Your exact opposite:
Genghis Khunt

Random Brutal Sex Master

Lovers who share your idealized perspective, or who are at least willing to totally throw themselves into a relationship, will be very, very happy with you. And you with them. You're already selfless and compassionate, and with the right partner, there's no doubt you can be sensual, even adventurously so.

You probably have lots of female friends, and they have a special soft spot for you. Babies do, too, at the tippy-top of their baby skulls.

ALWAYS AVOID: The 5-Night Stand, The False Messiah, The Hornivore, The Last Man on Earth

CONSIDER: The Loverboy

Link: The 32-Type Dating Test by OkCupid - Free Online Dating.

2006-11-16T21:45:00.000+08:00

What Color Is Your Aura??? (7 breath-taking results!!!)

Orange is the color of an…orange. You’re sarcastic, funny, childish, and tend to talk before you think. Confident and out-going, you seem to fit in with most people. You like bringing fun to people’s lives, and beneath that childish-self, you’re self-sarcraficing. You want the people around you to be happy, and you put your need’s last. People see you as a person who’s a little foolish, but extremely fun to hang with, but some people might just wish you would go away. You seek for happiness in others, and just pure fun!Famous Orange-Aura: Ashton KutcherMost Compatible With: Orange-Aura, Red-AuraLeast Compatible With: Green-AuraQuote:“Don’t ask what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country.” --John F. Kennedy At Your Best:Confident, funny and self-sacraficing At Your Worst: Selfish, annoying and hurtful
Take this quiz!

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2006-11-16T21:09:00.000+08:00

What Color Is Your Aura??? (7 breath-taking results!!!)

2006-11-16T20:34:00.000+08:00

hehe...me and my artsy mood again

2006-11-12T14:36:00.000+08:00

How evil are you?
Yeah...I'm not evil!

2006-11-12T14:31:00.000+08:00

You Are An ENFP

The Inspirer

You love being around people, and you are deeply committed to your friends.
You are also unconventional, irreverant, and unimpressed by authority and rules.
Incredibly perceptive, you can usually sense if someone has hidden motives.
You use lots of colorful language and expressions. You're qutie the storyteller!

You would make an excellent entrepreneur, politician, or journalist.

What's Your Personality Type?

Ooo...sounds good! Where have all the people in Perth gone to? I can't wait till I get back to S'pore to meet all my darling friends!

2006-10-19T18:54:00.000+08:00

Oooo...its been a long time since I blogged...almost 3 whole months!!! Well been real busy this time trying to sort out my thoughts and life in Perth. Funny how just a few weeks back I was hating Perth and life here...but now after my anger has subsided I've resigned to my fate. Anyhow I still have at least 8 more mths here if everything goes well in UK...really hope those nice English men over there reading my personal statement is crying to pieces over NOT accepting me in the first place :p Yup I'm really keen on going to UK even if it means spending my entire life paying off the debt! Its been a long while since I felt the passion in me fire up again. Been locking up the thought of medicine tightly in my heart for ages I supposed, coz the reality is that I'm studying law and most likely end up as a lawyer (sharks!). My most dreaded thought now is that they'll reject me once again and I hate facing rejections time and time again :( Thank God for Marcus, jas and shuzhen for going thru this time with me when I was writing my personal statement. Was really losing confidence in myself coz everything in my life was just so shite....
Well would be happy to meet them back in s'pore during the hols...and hopefully my dearest friend marcus would intro nice cool guys to me! Yipee! haha...can't wait for exams to finish...and tt's in less than a mth's time!

2006-08-01T20:41:00.000+08:00

The tree the tempest with a crash of wood
Throws down in front of us is not bar
Our passage to our journey's end for good,
But just to ask us who we think we are

Insisting always on our own way so.
She likes to halt us in our runner tracks,
And make us get down in a foot of snow
Debating what to do without an ax.

And yet she knows obstruction is in vain:
We will not be put off the final goal
We have it hidden in us to attain,
Not though we have to seize earth by the pole

And, tired of aimless circling in one place,
Steer straight off after something into space.

-Robert Frost,On a Tree Fallen Across the Road

2006-07-10T13:57:00.000+08:00

Yeah! I'm so glad to return to Singapore...yea...I'm back in sunny Singapore for 2 weeks only.

For the very first time in my life I set foot in my grandma's church on 9th July 2006, which was yesterday morning. Decided to remedy some stuff in S'pore while my relatives are still alive (touch wood!)

Yea...I think my grandma was really elated and definitely surprised to see me at her church. Praise the Lord for showing me the way there! and Praise Him again for accepting me into his arms so that I may have eternal life!

2006-06-07T00:49:00.000+08:00

WOW...I've hit the BIG 2! Haha my birthday just ended an hour ago...still too exhilarated to sleep! Well no photos to post yet coz they are all in my friend's digicam. One night of play and now to get back to work...exams in 2days time...ahhh...

Thank you so much for the wonderful gifts you all bestowed upon me! Every single sms, greeting and gift sent a jolt of warmth into my heart! Ohh I was so excited today to receive so many sms-es from S'pore and Perth to say Happy Birthday...Sharon, Dave, Rach, my Mom...Liane even sent me an e-card! Wah I'm really so blessed to have such wonderful fantabulous people around me!!!

Here's me with my birthday hairstyle in sommerville...

And here's my fav place...Dolphin Theatre in autumn!

2006-05-01T03:06:00.000+08:00

Was looking out of the window while my friend drove me back home from church and as we passed by King's park, and I saw this patch of grass next to the actual King's park patch. It was super nice, with luscious green carpet grass and beautiful colourful flowers complementing its greenery. Then the scenery of King’s park( just that part) was brown tall trees that seem a little jaded. It got me thinking of how natural beauty is so contradictory of Nature’s beauty. We all perceive natural beauty to be nothing short of a myriad of colours and perfection itself. But have we considered how God’s view of beauty is? Maybe to him beauty lies in its natural form, bug and all.

He created all creatures big and small, surely he must want bugs and grasshoppers to populate his vegetation! So how come we got the idea that a bug-less world is the ideal one? I’m sure that tiny patch of wonder was planted, and not His doing. How on earth would a nice patch lie in the middle of the road, separated from the giant trees? Plus those plants were obviously different from the surrounding trees. Ok better not digress.

Anyway as I was saying, He must have wanted us all to live in harmony, not a world which advocates pesticides and roach-killers. Yes roaches are not exactly the most pleasant insects of all, but do we kill them because we think they deserve death or because we are oblivious to their tiny yet significant life? We certainly don’t have the right to say who deserves to die and who deserves to live…that’s up to God. So should we then let roaches run wild and spread diseases? Of course not, and it is also not in our means to tell the roaches to be hermits. Any living being should have the right to inhabit any area they want, and not be restricted to human laws.

Have we just become humans who want to look at nature through the glass panels of a zoo- safe from all danger and their “barbaric” environment? Its sad how few are able to accept that Nature is not sterile. Nature is perfect: The birds sing songs of joy, ants displaying tiny efforts of teamwork, dolphins smiling at the sky.

Joy comes from these small moments where you can just look in the sky, bask in the sun and say "Its going to be a beautiful day!"

Yeah I say that everyday just to keep me going. Life's so beautiful, what else can I ask for? More time to enjoy these?

2006-04-24T23:11:00.000+08:00

Today was a rainy day, ya all gloomy and sad. Not that it helped when I had to send a good friend off to the airport.

I guess my family is not very supportive of everything that I do so my good friends and church is my true family and home.

Sad but true.

Being the eldest and the most dependable one of all my siblings, I had to take on the entire weight of being the BEST and PERFECT one. Its really tiring me out trying to live up to their expectations. Guess that’s why I left home once and that did hurt a lot of people. My sis even said to me with teary eyes that she hates me for making my mom cry. I don’t feel good about that too…I just had to get out of that stifled environment! No I did not move out for my bf, I was just really unhappy at home. That’s all.

All my friends around me seem to have really perfect families. Two parents (I only have a mom), nice family Sundays and dinners together. I think I can count the number of hours I see my mom in a week (less than 10) and the number of words I say to her, which is really a tragedy. But I don’t blame anyone, coz she is really one inspiration MOM! She pulled herself out of depression after my dad passed away and even managed to support all 3 of us plus my 2 sets of grandparents. You gotta admire her for that! Even so I still wished that my life was more normal.

In friends I have found comfort, the ease to say anything I want regardless whether or not it was right. I can be myself and not put up a strong front. I can fall and not be reprimanded for being careless or stupid (yes my mom likes the word stupid a lot). I can be imperfect and they will still love me. Ditto for God. He loves me unconditionally. That’s why my ultimate love is GOD! Even though I had forsaken him when I was young and ignorant he still forgave me and accepted me in his kingdom.

You know how sometimes you hide your true feelings and stay strong for too long that you forget how to cry? I’m experiencing that now. Oh man…its hard to open my heart to God now, actually anyone, and I hope he can understand and grant me the strength to do so. I don’t want to be that cold hearted, cynical person I used to be! It’s just not me! I LOVE to look at the sky and dream of castles made of clouds and stars that shine their light so brilliantly that they illuminate your soul; But hardship always draws me further and further away from the beautiful nature of God’s creation and pull me back to the cold truth of reality. Pandora’s box may have unleashed multitudes of evil and bad-ness(ok not sure if such a word exists) to this world but have people forgotten about HOPE? It is the only thing that can divert people away from the cruelties of life!

I know I’m still hoping. Hoping that I do eventually become a doctor. Hoping that one day I will reconcile with my family. Hoping that my loved ones will not be taken away. Hoping that those that have left would meet me in Heaven. Hoping that there might be world peace eventually. Hoping that dolphin will live to see the day the Earth stops spinning. Hoping that no one will feel sorrow anymore.

Alright, better not make this a philosophy thesis. I just pray for the world to be a better place.

2006-04-24T22:40:00.000+08:00

Am I like this too?

2006-04-24T00:46:00.000+08:00

Yesterday I finally went jogging again, ok the horrible twin in me likes to procrastinate, so anyway I did have an hour of quite thinking to do while I jogged along beautiful swan river :) Its always a joy to jog here in Perth but I just can't find the time to do it! God why can't you bless me with 48h in a day? I'm just too ambitious and want to do too many things at the same time, maybe tt's why I multi-task all the time?

Ya back to my quiet thoughts, not that private though since I'm sharing them here. I've learnt not to keep everything to myself, its not healthy and certaintly not pleasant to bottle up your feelings & thoughts! Brother Paul taught us that we need to set aside time for quiet thoughts, because everyone has a full-day of work. Be it sleeping or eating, everyone does not have much free time and so the only way to be sure you do do quiet reflections is to make a stand and to set aside 10mins of your day for God. Hmm...haven't I been doing that for the past 19yrs? But it wasn't God related so its not counted right? Maybe I just love to day dream too much, about the clouds, the trees, the sea, and dolphins! Haha...well its not too late to reflect on God now.

2006-04-18T22:27:00.000+08:00

Don't know why I'm feeling lonely out of a sudden. Maybe its the korean drama marathon I'm holding right now...too much love in it that its making me feel sick. Oh well, and with internet at home I get to chat with my s'pore friends more often. Guess that is also making me homesick, or more like friend-sick. I'm turning mad, halfway thru dinner I actually wanted to run to the airport and catch the next flight back to s'pore. Not that I love s'pore that much but I just feel so lonely now. Haiz, and its the hols now so life seems so mundane. Wake up super early just to go to work in the cold, then no breaks for 8hrs straight standing. Go home and watch my vcds. Life doesn't seem very exciting right now.

I remember how I used to seek adventures when I first came here. Now I just can't afford that time anymore. I have essays to hand in, tests, work and cooking to do.

And the most important thing is what my purpose in life is?

I always had a dream. A beautiful dream.

But now my dream might NEVER come true. God what do you really intend for me to do? I'm really very very tired being turned in circles. As much as I want to trust in your wisdom and power, my mixed-up life is not really reflecting too well on your planning.

I once had a desire to be this really really wonderful doctor, going all over the world to treat the poor. Now, just the word "medicine" sends a knife thru my heart. I can't even begin to dream anymore. Sometimes it hurts so much I just want to cry and have someone to hug. But who or what can I hug? I'm really tired acting strong and brave. God, please save me!

One must desire something to be alive.

Am I a living dead?

Second day@work

2006-04-17T22:05:00.000+08:00

Woke up real early today only to dread leaving my nice warm bed and face the freezing cold @ 6.30am! For goodness sake...its a public holiday! Ok maybe only for WA...apparently they declare every other day a holiday. Australian Atheists can have a day off on Easter monday?!? Ok enough digressing, yup I woke up super early just to take the first bus to work. Yet, despite my early morning sacrifice I was still late for work :( Why? Because Miss Blur Queen did not realise that today was a public holiday and so the first bus comes at 8.30am and not 6.30am. Stupid. Had to spend $16 just to get from my house to the city and so my net earnings of the day...$4 for 5hours of hard work.

The weather's turning colder this week...today I left home at 6.45am and I could blow smoke out of my mouth! And mind you that is no cig smoke :p The weather forecast today is 6/18 degrees Celsius. Thank goodness I was in the supermart baking pastries,rolls and buns all day long...the oven was my heater. How nice if sharon,jas and qianyi could be here...it's a long break for me and if they were here we could go down south! Ya I'm dependant on them coz I'm the only one without a licence. Basically my two legs and trusty Multi-Rider are the ones that get me anywhere. Plus its too cold to cycle anyway, so I have to don at least 4 layers of clothes and walk to the supermart. I think the aussies are laughing at me...its only autumn and I'm like one gigantic snowman rolling around in school.

Right, have to be up early tomorrow. Another day as the deli-girl...

All the Best to Sharon and Qianyi for their exams. Oh and if Jas and Shuzhen have exams too then good luck to you guys too!

2006-04-15T16:17:00.000+08:00

A picture speaks a thousand words; a song sings a million emotions. Music is so important to me that every single person that is significant in my life has a theme song.

Maybe God made my life story a musical, embodying songs in each special occasion to convey different moods? Then wouldn’t it be quite contradictory to say I hate musicals? Anyway, those who understand me are aware of my aversion towards musicals.

Yesterday’s a mystery; Tomorrow’s history; Today’s a gift, that’s why WE call it the PRESENT.

I guess every day is precious even if it’s a bad day, because it is only through tribulation and adversity that we appreciate providence. How else can you tell the good without the evil? Man needs a measure for comparison and so with all the misfortunes in the world can he find happiness and contentment in his underprivileged life.

Do get the wrong idea for I do not acknowledge schadenfreude-ism. All that I’m emphasizing is the notion that contrast brings out the best of both worlds.

2006-04-13T14:59:00.000+08:00

Gateway to Heaven...at my doorstep

2006-04-11T21:02:00.000+08:00

Whoa...finally fixed the internet at home yesterday and voila! I'm online!

Had lunch at student cafe(aka 350 coz almost everything is $3.50) today with Josh then went over to hang out at Steph's place. Oh for those who don't know, Steph and Josh are my church friends :)

Contrary to popular belief, ang mos ain't that great after all. Its like other than pple from Faith community church(FCC) and law fac, I hadly have any more friends. Guess you can't blame the aussies too for being prejudiced against foreigners, I once too stigmatized PRCs.

Ok let's not digress...talking about friends in Aussie...frankly I think I'm extremely fortunate to have met Justin, coz thru him I've met so many people from FCC! Ok the story goes like this:

One fine day just after moving into my Nedlands house I had to do laundry. At that time there wasn't any washing machine at home so I had to hunt for a laundromat. The nearest one I know is 1km from where I stay...near school...so I was hoping that there would be one nearer to home. Ya so I began my adventure walking AWAY from school to find a laundromat. After walking for 400m I got a little worried and so went into a random petrol station to ask someone for directions. To my horror, the petrol station attendant told me that the laundromat near school was the ONLY one within this 5km radius!!!! AHHHHhhh...have to walk back in the opposite direction!!! It happened that Justin was standing behind me and overheard my conversation. And so when I was walking along the Stirling highway on my way to the extremely distant middle-earth, he drove pass and offered me a ride there. I was quite frightened lah...out of nowhere this stranger offered me a ride! But I'm a desperate girl...I was tired and its really super far to walk at 7pm. Yup so that's the story of how I got to know Justin. He belongs to FCC and so thru him I got to know alot more wonderful people in church! God Bless!

Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.
-Elie Wiesel

Precisely why I value friends more than BGR relationships.

But ultimately I Love God more than anyone!

3rd day in UWA

2006-03-01T18:02:00.000+08:00

Hi everyone! I've finally found internet connection in school. However its charged by the Mb that I download so this is turning out to be rather expensive. Anyway was staying at YMCA Perth for 2 weeks and finally moved in to a more permanent place near the uni yesterday. My new address is 10/47 Boronia Ave,Nedlands 6009 WA. Cool huh! I'm staying in a house right now that has 3 bedrooms and so sharing the rent with 2 other guys. The hostel is charging $260/week with meals included and my rent here is $280/week divided by 3 with no meals included. Guess mine sounds cheaper. Anyhow just putting in my first entry today. Will work out something with my housemates and get broadband. Miss you guys!